In July I spoke about how we may need to reset our expectations for the rest of the year and what now we wanted to set as our aims. How are you feeling now 6 weeks on? Have you made much progress? If you haven’t don’t worry many people I speak to are in that same boat.
I have been reflecting on the themes emerging from coaching some rather brilliant people over the last few weeks. People, who from the outside that we would all ask ‘how are they managing all this so well?’
It is a common theme that the majority of us are exhausted because we are trying to be on permanent performance 24/7 and that includes the brilliant people.
We are keeping up a very good external face and that is helping us manage our current demands. However, many of us now are living a life very different from the one we planned. Some parts we love. Some we would like to tweak a little or only have on 3 days a week not 7. Some we hate.
What we all seem to have in common is that we feel we need to be in this new life being perfect at everything and permanently performing at our very best. From getting up in a morning to going to bed at night we are trying to get everything exactly right – even if we are not sure what that is!
This state of permanent performance covers our exercise habits, the working day, family support, colleague support, friend support, and fitness buddy support and all this on full setting. “I can do it great – I am ok – I am coping”.
Some of us are finding it hard to find our true voice and speak out for ourselves and say (even to ourselves) “I can’t do all this perfectly”.
We seem to be in a state where we are expecting ourselves to be able to permanently perform at our very best and the exhaustion coming from that drive is beginning to overwhelm us.
What is clear is that those energy levels I personally said I was going to keep an eye on in July are taking a battering and on some days are flashing a ‘low level’ sign.
Remember that being in a high-change environment uses energy – emotional, physical, internal energy. We need to take time to adjust and to stop trying to be perfect to everyone – for everyone and realise we can not always be the perfect planner, perfect parent, perfect partner, perfect employee. Doing everything perfectly doesn’t make us who we are. It is not what those around us will remember us for either. Trying to be superhuman will however make us unwell, unhappy, and un-fun to be with and definitely not great to work for.
So my message this month is – take a break from trying to permanently perform everything. We can’t all get away and have a physical break but we can all find some space in out minds for that conversation that says – life doesn’t have to be like this, I can change how I think about things.
If a conversation would help to move forward and remember those things that you used to do to make you happy and complete and perform well we are here to help and if there is any support that we can give you, please get in touch.