Last month I was reflecting on how some of us are finding it hard to find our true voice and speak out for ourselves and say (even to ourselves) “I can’t do all this perfectly”.
That inner voice of ours can be great at times can’t it. The voice when it is say aren’t we wonderful, look at what you have just achieved – even with everything else going on you are brilliant! Sadly that inner voice of ours always seems to be louder when it is negative than when it is positive and says lovely things.
The inner voice that speaks when we are all alone can be very loud and not very rational either. The one thing I have been reflecting on recently is how useless my inner voice is with regard to have a good sense of scale. Let me explain. When I see a spider my inner voice always says ‘that is a massive spider’ or ‘that spider is almost the size of my hand’. Really – are both those things true? Sometimes our inner most voice has no sense of scale size or perspective – unless we give it one. It needs something to compare things with. It needs some challenge to its judgement.
My problem this month was getting locked out of my email account. For all the right reasons by my provider that thought they were trying to help. It did solve one problem but then gave me a ‘massive problem’ of not being able to send emails from my laptop. It truly was massive – system problems always are for me as I don’t know enough to solve them for myself. So I panic! My thought process is always “everything is now going to stop working forever. I have broken the system”. Did you notice my language there? I went straight to ‘always’ ‘forever’ ‘I have’. I lost my sense of scale, my sense of perspective. I needed some one else to discuss things with. What really was my problem? What was in my control and what was outside of my control. I actually called someone with more technical knowledge than me and someone I knew would not laugh at me or my state of panic. Their conversation – calm and supportive – allowed me time to think and reflect and realise I was over reacting. I hadn’t broken anything I just hadn’t thought that as well as putting my changed password into a ‘receive box’ I also needed to put it into a ‘send box’. So you see unlike people systems don’t think for themselves they just do as you tell them! Good in some ways as they can’t make a problem bigger when it isn’t – bad in others as it can’t solve it own problems, unlike the human mind!
So when we have problem that we have kept just to ourselves, or an issue that we ‘know’ we cannot deal with, we require a sense of scale, a different perspective, a challenge to current thinking. Or as Wayne Dyer said “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change’.
By sharing our concerns with a trusted person, it gives us the opportunity to examine things different, to see things afresh. Is that problem really massive? Or if I could break it down into smaller elements is there a way to solve it?
If a conversation would help to move forward and give your inner voice a chance to have some challenge well we are here to help and if there is any support that we can give you, please get in touch. Take a look at our website. www.rvrconsulting.co.uk